That's the word on the street. You'll all recall how the paparazzi caught Kathryn on a TTC bus a-la-Britney (sans shorts, we mean, but still with a full head of hair and apparently not in post-partum flabulousness (or not, yet, ahem)) -- word is she maybe possibly picked up "the coots," as a source close to Kathryn call it, from the seat. Or maybe from kissing a boy. Or from letting a boy play skipping at recess because she felt sorry for him. Those are but three of the known methods of cootie transmission Le Kat has been seen indulging in.
Apparently the Corp has already given each of her individual cooties names. Her favourite is "George," according to our sources.
Circle, circle, dot, dot and etc. etc.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Investigation takes time
Quality gossip takes a lot of imagination and the manufacture of many sources. But here are some leads we're pursuing:
*Herpes
*The clap (we like the sound of this one)
*Ghonnorea (which some guy says is the same as the clap. What does he think, we just fell off the condom truck? One sounds like something a lead singer does during instrumental songs and the other starts with gh and rhymes with "honour me, ya!" They could not be more different).
I know everyone's always like -- "hey dude, speculate irresponsibly about HIV! It's so glamorous! Plus Kathryn looks so good in red (ribbons and bands, you know...)."
But to you people, I'm all like re-fucking-la-fucking-x already. We don't need to go all nuclear right off the start. Maliciously accusing celebrities of having STDs is a marathon, not an AIDS fundraiser. We've got to develop a few themes and have somewhere to go when we get bored and need to kick it up a notch.
Also, all you people who saw her maybe holding a pillow weirdly in public? Being preggers is not the same as having an STD. So take your bump-talk elsewhere.
*Herpes
*The clap (we like the sound of this one)
*Ghonnorea (which some guy says is the same as the clap. What does he think, we just fell off the condom truck? One sounds like something a lead singer does during instrumental songs and the other starts with gh and rhymes with "honour me, ya!" They could not be more different).
I know everyone's always like -- "hey dude, speculate irresponsibly about HIV! It's so glamorous! Plus Kathryn looks so good in red (ribbons and bands, you know...)."
But to you people, I'm all like re-fucking-la-fucking-x already. We don't need to go all nuclear right off the start. Maliciously accusing celebrities of having STDs is a marathon, not an AIDS fundraiser. We've got to develop a few themes and have somewhere to go when we get bored and need to kick it up a notch.
Also, all you people who saw her maybe holding a pillow weirdly in public? Being preggers is not the same as having an STD. So take your bump-talk elsewhere.
A "motorcycle accident" waiting to happen
Your correspondent ain't saying nothin', but guess whose family reportedly has a history of syphillis? Apparently, when someone gets it, the Kathryn-ites say that person had a "motorcycle accident."
So think carefull if she offers you a ride. That could be a highway to STD-town.
So think carefull if she offers you a ride. That could be a highway to STD-town.
Friday, November 23, 2007
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